I am just as surprised as YOU that they think I'm qualified to be here judging other people's fashion sense and makeup!"
"I was yet again so very excited to be asked, so I had my hair stylist super glue my big early 90's hair into place and got my lips plumped up bigger than ever before."
"I even stayed up alll night practicing these poses...and I made SURE that they got my good side, you know, the side of my face with that huge killer "beauty" mark on my brow."
"People have always looked at me strangely, but I'm just positive it's because I am so damned gorgeous! If only they KNEW just how much I have to spent on my plastic surgeon and trainer to maintain all of this!"
"Anyway...do you like?"
"This is one of my faves 'cuz I'm looking over my shoulder like I'm a coy little school girl..."
"Oh, and my lips are sheer plumped perfection in this shot...You can't tell I'm trying to push them out even further, can you?"
"I almost cried when I saw this shot...and I made an appointment with my plastic surgeon the very next day! Don't you think my amazingly fake boobs look like they are sagging a bit??? ...and I paid so much for them!! I'm so mad right now!"
"Now, in this photo, I wanted to make absolutely sure that all the jewelry I was borrowing for the evening was shot. I know most celebs wouldn't admit that they are actually GIVEN almost everything they wear, but I will. What do I have to lose at this point in my life? I did in fact practice this pose beforehand, but it looks so spur of the moment, doesn't it?"
"I'll leave you with this one, so you can see that I've actually been working out so much that my back muscles are ripped. ...And, what gorgeous woman doesn't pull out an 'over the shoulder' look anymore? Eat your heart out, Megan Fox!! God, I'm SO beautiful...I'm off to have these babies framed."
...click images to enlarge...