Saturday, March 15, 2008

Dirty Pretty Things: Fashion Crimes

How to Look Like You've Dressed in the Dark...

I know, I know...you think you're fabulous.
And you will always find someone else who will tell you that you are because they are desperately trying to be in your circle of friends. Examples: Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears...

There's just one thing...You look like you dress in the dark and your idea of fashion should be no where near the pages of Vogue.

Let us today use Chloe Sevigny as our example. Chloe recently designed a collection for a line called "Opening Ceremony". Think: Laura Ashley meets Esther Williams meets 80's and 90's fashion faux pas, seriously.

First of all, allowing a girl who can't dress herself to "design" clothing for other people is just wrong. That's like asking Britney to watch your children.

Secondly, the pieces aren't unlike what you might find in those cheapy stores such as Rainbow Shops or Fashion Bug, etc, ...in the 90's! I suppose they thought that if they threw it together and took terrible, badly lit, blurry photos, people would think that they had a pulse of what is fashion forward. Sorry. It's just a horrible horrible crime against...well, fashion...and photography.

Here's a [bad] taste of what you could look like this Spring...






So, take note of what you've just witnessed...ALWAYS dress with a light on and spot check yourself in the mirror before you leave the house. If your clothes look like something that Chloe, Bai Ling or Phoebe Price might wear, go and change...Quickly!


8 comments:

Rascallion said...

OK, I am not exactly known for my own fab fashion sense (I dress children for a living after all...) but I have to agree with your assessment. Colour blind or pattern challenged? I don't know which.

Marilyn said...

I'm sorry, I can't get past that it's Chloe to even look at what she's wearing. Ick.

Raven said...

I know, I know...It blows my mind that she is even a "celebrity" of any sort. How on Earth did that come to be?

xxx

ThisOldHenHouse said...

I never quite got Chloe Sevingy's (sp?) fashion! I saw a pic of her once and I swear to it she had a friggin doilie on her head!

Kat Roman said...

She has always been a spokesperson for how to dress your worst. I just don't get it either. Coming from New York "It's not even a downtown thing." It's just a mess.

amy said...

I actually like Chole, I think she has that unique beauty that makes her different. I also think she chooses good movie roles and doesn't sell out.
I've never seen her clothing designs before until now. Has she gone completely mad? I think that her effort was to make something that was so incredibly ugly that it would be pretty. It kind of goes along the lines of "It's so out it's in, it's so in it's out" kind of thinking. It's so hideous it's HOT. (but not really, it's just hideous)

andrea said...

I like the shoes in the last pic ;)

Regina W. Cabrera said...

She has dependably been a representative for how to dress your most exceedingly bad. I simply don't get it either. Originating from New York "It's not even a downtown thing." It's only a wreck.


mini skirt & sports bra